If you’re trying to achieve a weight loss goal then you need all the encouragement you can get!  That encouragement could come from a weight loss buddy, a friend, a spouse or coworker.  But you…yes, YOU…should be your most fervent and loyal cheerleader.  And if your not, then you should be!  That’s right, remember that old saying, “he who does not toot his own horn, gets not his horn tooted!”  I’m not 100% sure but I think it may have been Bill Clinton who coined that phrase.

I thought it would be fun to let our imaginations run wild here for a little bit and come up with some encouraging, humorous, light hearted ways to express our weight loss.  It kind of gives us another view, somewhat more realistic, something we can actually relate to.  For instance, as you’ve already read here at Life Without Donuts, donuts were the Numero Uno culprit for me taking on my round, rotund shape.  I even considered entering the ‘Michelin Man Look-Alike Contest’.

So, I said to myself, “self, lighten up here…this ain’t rocket science.”  As my slightly warped thinking kicked in, it suddenly clicked that I could, and really should, express my weight loss in…DONUTS!  That’s right, when talking to my friends about weight loss I could tell them I’d lost 459 DONUTS, instead of 51 pounds.  A little humor goes a long way you know.  And you don’t have to write me and tell me just how little humor this is, ’cause I already know.  So, humor me just a little bit and hear me out before you start spouting lame cliches like, “he sounds like his butter done slipped off his biscuit”, or “his porch light is on, but there ain’t nobody home.”

So being the arithmetic giant that I am, I discovered [read — made up] an equation to express this complex expression.  Now I’m gonna’ make this a ‘word problem’ like I mastered in the second year of the fifth grade.  If Johnny wanted to take a pound of Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts to his teacher, and he knew that each donut weighed 52 grams, how many donuts would Johnny have to buy?

Johnny looked on the internet and found out that there are 454 grams in each pound.  This is where ‘gazendas’ come into play.  He says 52 ‘gazenda’ 454 about 9 times, rounded off.  And donuts will most definitely round you off.  Now he knows that he needs to buy 9 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts in order to take his teacher a pound of donuts.  If you haven’t noticed Johnny is a gifted and talented child.

What does all this mean you ask?  Well, for me it means I’ve lost 459 [about 39 dozen] Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts at this point.  Did ya’ hear that…459!  Somehow that just sounds better than 50…pounds.  It just sounds more flashy, more meaningful, more…well, actually more silly…but who gives a rip.  After all, donuts are something I can really relate to.  It’s a number I can get my Formerly Donut Stained Fingers around, if you know what I mean.

So, what about you?  What can you relate to?  Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Klondike Ice Cream Bars or Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Rolls?  Chocolate Covered Potato Chips, Tiramisu, Cupcakes?  What are you waiting on…express yourself…in terms you can relate to.  Let me give you a couple of examples.

1 pound=27 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

1 pound=7 Klondike Ice Cream Bars

1 pound=3 Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Rolls

You get the idea.  You’re welcome to use one of my examples, just pick your prior ‘poison’, search out its weight, do the math and have a laugh or three along the way.

So lighten up a little…this ain’t rocket science!  This is about enjoying the journey to improved health…and…well, mental sanity.  I look forward to hearing from all you Former Junkies out there!

There Really is Life Without Donuts!

Ron, aka The Former Donut Junkie

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